Not Again..

I can't believe I'm falling into the same spiral down to fated disappointment.

Why does this always happen to me? It's not as if I ask for it.

Well, maybe I do, but it doesn't have to become real.

I don't deserve this. Not this near to my exams.

Though, there's always a reason for everything.

And I think I'm slipping again because;

You're always in the same room.

Sometimes you sit beside me or across the table.

The false glances that you give, make me smile on the inside.

I don't want to like you, I don't want to like people like you.

Yet, you're different.

But how much?

. . .

Things have been happening that I can't help but notice.

My presence is being known, being acknowledged and being referred to.

You don't call me by name, but I don't mind.

Your company is welcomed by everyone else.

It's the way you are that makes everybody want to have you around.

You lean closer when you need help, I am more than eager to assist you.

I will watch you go on stage this Wednesday from the audience.

I hope you notice me looking at you.


Damn.


I feel so helpless, just being able to look at you from a distance.

I don't know if you are who I hope you are.

Yet I wish I woulden't find out.

I'd rather be hurt knowing you have someone else now.

Than have you hurt me when things go wrong.

I'm over my Phantasmic Crush, my unGraphite Lover and that Beautiful Liar.

I'm ready for something new.


But not right now.


Can you stop acting like yourself?
..It's getting to me..

Be gentle, but don't lose your grip...

Sadly confessed by,

The Milkman