The Next Time There's A Camp, Tell Me Money Is Involved.

I'm back after 2 days of that EME camp half of the group is going to. Hated it. Well, not really the whole thing, just the part with the bat crap smell. The rest is fine. If only that cave didn't smell so freaking bad, I woulden't be here anymore. The smell of airconditioned sterile air, ahh.

What else I didn't like was the body odour, at least in school, there were windows on both sides of the walls, over at the camp, there was only 1 side. When we came back from the Niah trip, I was like, "F*ck, thank God I called in the bus before ariving." The smell was horrible, seriously. No offence to those Green Road guys, who called themselves Greenies. I don't know why, but my nose picks up stronger smells than normal I guess. Call me a dog, but I'd prefer b*tch, I'm more used to it. Don't care if you use other names, the good thing about being in a group that I am, I don't feel for bad names. So you shoulden't use them either, save yourself a sentence in confession.

Continuing on with the camp, it started off fine, I thought we would be in charge of most things since we're the host, and we did have more to do. The only thing I really did not enjoy was the praise and worship. It wasn't my cup of tea. Why use 'cup of tea'? So I don't have to say 'hate'. I didn't like going to Sunday school, neither do I go for youth mass. My evening masses were quiet, peaceful and slow. That is how people are supposed to worship in the house of God. Not singing with lous clapping and jumping. No no no. Jesus on the Cross is hung in front of us, and we are jumping and clapping? I don't care how happy we should be because of the Assumption, we shoulden't be unecessarily jumping when we can sing just as well sitting down. There must be something about unappropriate conduct in the house of God. Take the Vatican for example, NONE of it's masses are done with overjoyed singing, I doubt they even have catchy hymns. I will try to find a show that shows a normal mass in Rome, and see if I can be proven wrong. It's not that I'm just a spoil sport, the point is that I feel it's not right. It's something about the Suffering that we should just keep as silent as possible.

The first day we had to play a game, of which my team was made up of mostly girls. They just stood on the sidelines the whole game. Wow, teamwork at motion yeah? They could have just tried to surround the main guy. No one would dare push over a girl. They would get a foul either way. Oh, I forgot to mention the game was called 'Captain Ball'. "Oh great, we going to play with the captain's balls". Oh joy. It was like basketball, with someone acting as the hoop, that is able to stretch itself to 'magically' capture the basketball. And then there were two guards at the bottom of the hoop to try to prevent the ball from reaching the 'hoop'. But enough of explaining the game. I sucked at catching the ball, the opponent's team 'hoop' was a super tall guy, and the girl's in the team were pretending to be flower pots, equals to a losing game. Whatever.

The trip to Niah Caves was supposed to be a 'fun and exciting' experience. It was only fun. Fun because I had friends around. Not exciting because I was pissed off with the f*cking bad smell. I thought it was just one section that had bat crap. No. The whole cave had bat crap. Except for the section with the water droplets. More about that later. When we arrived at the resting and registration area, it was hot as the weather can get. Thank God for hats. So we ate some lunch before departing to the forest path via small motorboat. The rice is always hard by the way, not used to it. Like eating unflavoured cocoa puffs. Bleh. Anyway, continuing on, the walk in the jungle pathway was hella long, thankfully it was a level path, meaning no ups and downs. There was a new cement pathway under construction, so before I say more, screw those who walk up the unbeaten path. Screw!!! Moving on, after much green trees and whatever you would except in a jungle, we reached a cave, which didn't really smell. Yet. I thought at first, this is the Niah Cave? It's so small. I was wrong. It was just entree for the real cave, which was terribly funky smelling. I tried to think to myself, "Oh, it smells like tom yam now" or "Oh my, I smell curry". Didn't work too well, no it did not, nope. Anyway, I'm listening to the voice of Dido now as I blog thinking it will make me forget about the smell. How? I don't know how, but it's working.

There was a few parts in the cave that I remember for specific reasons. One was the cave with a statue that looked like a woman praying, with folded hands. It had the features of a real human being, mouth, nose, eye inclination, so I was like, "Oh my God". One thing about it though, it looked like she was in pain, and melting. It was beautiful because of the fact it was an indentifiable image and that there was a ray of light directly shining on its face seeing as there was a hole on the roof. That was one of the best things I saw there. Another would be the one that looked like a screaming head. There were two in fact. But like the first, they looked like they were melting. Creepy sh*t right there. I forgot to mention, I also had to restrain my use of the word sh*t and replace it with crap, due to the adults who were very devoted 'churchers'. The word is self-explanatory. If you still don't get it, too bad for you.

Continuing on further into the bat-crap-cave, we reached the pathway that had no bat crap whatsoever. It wasn't a good thing I found out soon, because there was water dripping from the roof. The planks of wood were very slippery and smooth, causing many shoes to slip. What was more, the first one was the most slippery, and we had the f*cked up honour to finding out ourselves. Where are the signs? The thing I hated the most about it was that some of them didn't even have railings. I was like, "Sh*t, what are we supposed to do next, jump?" So, out of sheer fear of falling into the dark, neverending holes at the sides. What fun. NOT. The slippery road continued on for quiet a while, until we saw the light at the end of the tunnel. We were happy as a kid that got a new PSP. Well, not that happy, the fact that we were sweating buckets was enough to make us pissed again.

After resting and some stupid picture taking, remember that at that time I am still pissed, we got an announcement that we are going back. Hurrah. I saw a large gate below which I thought to be a shortcut back, thinking behind my head I thought, "We could have f*cking used a shortcut when there was a f*cking shorter pathway!? Whatever, it better be shorter than this sh*tty path." Alas, the Lady of Fate was not so forgiving. The guy with the haler announced, that we go back. And so, I saw people walking back the way we came in.

F*CK!!!!!

Oh joy. Another walk into the cave of wonders. Just fantasic. Right then I said to Samuel, "We're going back home." And he replied, "Yes we are." I shant go on about my fury in the cave walking back, because it would crash Blogspot due to the shear hate and anger towards all that is living and dead. As we reached the edge of the cave, we rested at some abandoned house. I could imagine why the occupants left. You should too, or you do not breathe. Then we continued on the jungle walk. On the trip back, I noticed that there were a few millipedes having intercourse on the moss covered railings. They had been at it for quite some time, even when I walked past an hour and a half ago. So rude, why can't they get a room?

Moments later, while walking with Samuel and Rick, a friendly but somewhat talkative guy from Greenroad, Kuching, we realised, the sky was getting dark. Oh no. Then I heard a flushing sound, getting louder and louder, coming towards us from the right side. And so, I looked up, like the idiot I am, and witnessed heavy rain, coming in a nice, straight line, rolling towards me. I got wet. So we walked as fast as we could to the jeti. Luckily along the way was a little shack, probably for some stupid, fat tourists to come rest and take pictures. We sat ourselves down and used up all the tissue I brought along. People started to arrive as well from the back. They were worried about their handphones. I wasn't. For all I care, I wished for mine to just konk out so I have a reason to buy a new one. So we just sat and waited for the rain to die down. It didn't very much, but at least Amelia Chia commented on how my good my fingernails look. Hmm.

After a few jokes cracked by Miss Annie, bless her, we joined her walking towards the jeti. She picked up a nicely shaped which she used as a hat. Fashionable and functionable, minus the fashionable part. We continued on walking till the jeti, and guess what, the sun started to shine. Shine very hot in fact. You could dry a fish at the time, but it would smell, so why bother. I tried to stay out of the sun as much as I can. Then the boat came to bring people over after the last trip. I know we weren't the first to arrive at the jeti, but screw the rest, I was wet, and I had a f*cking migraine. I just rushed to join Sarah, Chrispian, Paulina and Grace whom were waiting at the departure 'plank', Samuel too, we didn't care who was waiting. Yes, I am that kind of person. But only when I feel as uncomfortable as you would imagine I was. What was more, I was the last person that would be able to fit into the boat without it sinking. Praise the Lord? Just get me over to the other side and no one goes overboard.

I forgot to mention how rocky the boat was, now I know why people get sea-sick. I now also know that I have a phobia of being on a boat. Oh joy. But whatever, we just quickly walked towards the bus and sat ourselves down. We realised soon after that it was our bus. Why? Because 3 cockroaches, that was what they seemed to be, appeared crawling right under Paulina's shoe. We got freaked out so much we rushed out of the bus. Then we went to the other bus and settled ourselves there. Grace, Sarah, Sharon, Chrispian, Paulina and Jason were trying frantically to warn the others on the other bus about the cockroaches with sign language and lip reading. Due to the shine on the windows, the people on the other bus could no see us clearly. I just sat back thinking how dumb it was to ask people to come onto the bus since it was all ours. Miss Annie came in shortly after. It was fine with me.

I slept in the bus at a half-foetal position, facing the window upright. Felt so good being in the bus, where it didn't involve any bird or bat crap. All was good, but there was no signal yet to call out. It was at that time I decided to take a sleep. When we reached the town area, I immediately got a strong signal, and called my parents to pick me up because I have had enough. Really I did.

I didn't even bother to say bye to anyone, only Chrispian knew that I had packed up and gone home. I wonder if they hate me now. Oh well, the airconditioned bedroom which was mine could make me think of better things. Before going home, I went to a wedding of a cousin of mine. I was really tired, but I hogged down all the food I could get down my mouth. At the same time, I noticed why all my cousins had good features, but not the clothes to match them. My genes weren't as fortunate. I have sort of mata sepet which I get from my father and a high forehead and thin hair from my mother. No one is perfect I guess, but I hell woulden't mind being it.

Went home, and got to sleep right after dumping my dirty clothing to the wash basket and having a good, warm shower.

End of crap filled story. Thank you for reading.

Oh yes, Kristine's birthday is coming up, don't forget to wish her a Happy Birthday, or she'll do stuff to you that you don't want to know. Hmm.