Eventuality In Advance.

Might as well admit it now. I don't really think anyone reads my blog anyway.

If you have, you might have noticed I have been on an emotional roll in my posts. This is because I'm not involved in a normal relationship. I didn't imply the gender of the person I care for in any way, because it's not really a 'she'.

I'm bi.

That's right. I'm not so sure myself, but all I know is, I feel the same for some guys as I do for some girls. It's kind of weird to most people, I know. But I just don't feel there is a need for me to keep it a secret for so long. It is who I am after all. If my friends were really my friends, they would accept me for who I am. I haven't told this to a few of my closest, because I would think they woulden't really take it very well. I don't know. I just feel like I'm in a blender.

This guy I like, I will not say who, is a really great guy. He has his faults, just like anyone else. He makes me smile, and makes me frown, sometimes feel like punching the wall, though I woulden't, because it will kind of hurt. Anyways, I do like him, but I don't really see myself getting involved in gay marriage. That's just too much. Who's going to give birth to the baby?

On a serious note, I don't really like myself this way either. Sometimes I feel that I was given the wrong hormones/pheromones upon birth, though everyone says God doesn't make mistakes and the such. But really, the hormone part is understandable, if you know the difference between hormones and pheromones. Pheromones is because everyone is starting to turn gay to me. Recently two of my friends(now complete useless sex crazed *ssholes), have become somewhat of gay people. They know who they are. Let me just release my tension.

X messaged my boyfriend(I know it sounds weird, okay, so just f*ck up) on Friendster. Y added my boyfriend on Friendster AND Msn. I mean, who tries to steal your boyfriend/girlfriend behind your back? To add to that, they are both guys. Seriously,

COME ON LA.

*ssholes.

So desperated to get f*cked. Trying to make excuses like they don't know anything or they didn't know it was him that I showed them. It's not as if I don't get how the typical homosexual acts. Especially teenages gays. I'm bi, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't know either way. Let's get this straight(oh my gosh, so ironic, no?), I may apply heterosexual implications:

1. You look at someones profile on Friendster because of 4 main reasons:
a. You recognize them as old/new friends and want to add them.
b. You are pathetic and add as many people as you possibly can.
c. You want to know them better so as to start a possible relationship.
d. You think they are hot and sexy and want to have sex with them.
2. You wait for the relationship to worsen, then swoop in for the kill.
3. You want 1 person as a back up just in case you get rejected by the person you really like.
This doesn't apply to straight people:
1. If you find a guy attractive, you are afraid to approach him because of the possible rejection and embarassment that news will spread that you are gay.
2. When you know someone is confirmed to be gay, you are less likely to be shy about getting to know the person more, especially if the guy is a friend of a friend.
3. Gay people are not easy to find, so you immediately try to snatch the nearest one you can find once he's available.
4. Most homosexuals are sex crazy. They constantly think about sex or having sex. Remember, males get sexually stimulated very easily.
5. 1 to 4 applies to most homosexuals, not all. Mostly teens, are they are very horny.

This is my main implications about Friendster and gay people. As usual, I'm probably 99.9% right. My apologies if you find this totally immoral, but what I have said is just basic human psychology. By the way, may I remind you that X and Y are still *ssholes? Very horny *ssholes indeed. Both of them should just have sex in the teacher's toilet. Ya.

In my defence, I did not approach this guy. He messaged me first. We sent a few messages in Friendster. Traded Msn addresses. Gave him my handphone number. He called the same night. We talked. He said a few things that made me smile. Things started from then on.

It's not easy having this kind of relationship. He's not even here. Typing this I already feel broken hearted, sorry to say to all you anti-gays. I don't know why, but I really feel for this person. I think I always will. I never thought it would get this bad. I don't like it either. I wish everyday that I could just forget this guy or if I never met him at all. Sometimes though, I wish I could just hug him. Sorry.

It hurts to be in a distance relationship. You don't get to touch them, feel their breath on your face as they talk close to you, hold your hand when you have something to say, eat breakfast, lunch and dinner together, all those things. You know? And I don't mean for guy-guy relationships only. I'm sure all you 'normal' people understand. It really hurts like shit and at times feels like heaven.

I'm sorry to everyone who expected more from me. I guess I coulden't control myself. He's so special, I can't even start to explain how. He's just... amazing.

Can I say this is love? I don't know. Someone explain to me.

End of transmission.

Juniors Ahoy, Abandon Ship.

Kem Jaya Diri is over. I'm not happy. I guess we did a bad job at KJD. The juniors didn't learn the Prefect Pledge till after the camp was over. They did okay at it too. Memorized the whole thing in a WEEK. Please note: WEEK. We were given 2 days. Make it 1 and a half. I coulden't sleep even if death asked me too. The f*cking tent was so damn hot and outside was so humid. Was sweating buckets of perspiration products. Not happy. Did 20-30 push-ups on the first day alone. I was the first to be given the punishment. Sylvester did not like my flip-flops. :(

Speaking of push-ups, none of the juniors did more than 10 throughout the whole camp. It was kind of dissapointing. Though I would feel bad if I gave them the punishment myself. But who cares, if I could do it, why not them. It's all because of the new rules. Some careless asthmatic collapsed and died because of being pushed too much to finish his/her push-ups. There is such a thing as an inhaler. God.

Their punishment was more to fickle attempts to annoy them greatly. We snatched away their 'trust' book thingies, and we gave them back without making them pay for it. It's a conspiracy, we all had to do 10 push-ups everytime our 'trust' was stolen. Waht teh fcuk la.

What's more is that I got shouted at by Mr. Patrick Avon. The PKHEM of our school and our belove- f*ck, I hate this man, he freaking scolds everyone like he's our boss. We're just prefects and he's the teacher in charge, not hired help from Indonesia. I don't even care if he reads this because he needs to get his priorities straight. We are not slaves. If he wants such perfect prefects, go f*ck a cow and wish for it. All the best for 07/08 prefects to deal with such a jerk. He's a freaking ART teacher. Who cares about ART? ART cannot be taught. It is manifested by the spontaneous creativity of an individual. *sshole. Who's scared of an ART teacher anyway? You tell me. He's NEVER around to lend us a hand. NEVER gives us words of support. ALWAYS talks out of topic and wastes our time, making us late for class. THAT is why teachers dislike us. They THINK we purposely skip their classes just because there's a meeting. NOW you know. F*ck. WE WANT MDM. JENNY BACK. REINSTATE HER NOW. PKHEM SHOULD NEVER BE A PROCRASTINATING TWITCHING MALE CHAUVINIST PIG.

I'm not afraid if he reads this. This is out of his bounds to 'expel' me. If he hates me, fine, as if any of us like him back. Even his 'treasured' juniors think he's just a blabbermouth. All talk, no substance. Just drones on and on about SOMETHING irrelevant to the topic, if there was a topic to begin with.

I forgot to say why I'm so pissed about this man. He called me stupid when leading the juniors at night. We got direct instructions from Mr. Charlton Brian NOT to use our damn torchlights unless given the signal. The 'conversation' went like this if I can recall vaguely:

Idiot: "Kenapa kamu tak guna torchlight la?! Kalau mereka jatuh dan cedera macam mana?!"
Me: "Kami diberitahu oleh cikgu Charlton untuk tidak mengguna torchlight."
Idiot: "KENAPA TAK BOLEH?! BODOH! Pegang tangan dia la! @#$%!"
Me: "F*ck you la retard."

I said that under intense breath that the junior I was holding giggled. I mean, who does he think he is? He didn't just call me stupid, he called almost everyone else on that shift stupid for following Mr. Charlton's instructions. If he's so angry, go pick a fight with Mr. Charlton then. *sshole. I'm sure he'll get pounded like mashed potato and cry to his mother. His mother will then kick his nuts and blend them up and splat it on his face and call it ART.

F*CK YOU LA.
AS IF YOU ARE KING??
YOU ARE JUST AN ART TEACHER.
I HATE YOU.
WE ALL HATE YOU.
YOUR TREASURE 'BABIES' ARE STARTING TO HATE YOU.
GET A LIFE, ART TEACHER.

God.

Hate isn't enough to express my feelings towards the fat cow.

WE WANT MDM. JENNY BACK.

Moving on, my junior is Mathias Kumek. He rocks. Very obedient and 'guai'. I guess he has Head Prefect potential. That is to say before I corrupt him. Uh oh. Anyways, it seems Sebastian Lim is possibly getting complacent. If you don't really know what complacent means, look it up in the dictionary, don't find fault with me. Sebastian was supposedly the predetermined Head Preffie long before juniors were invited to join. Seems he does not have the desire. Amelia Chia is also a predetermined Head Preffie. But looking through her, I see fake respect. It's as though she's just waiting to be elected and pay no attention to seniors. She has the right to anyway. Anyone who's better than me has the right to pay no attention to me. Just a matter of preference.

Anyway, so far so good, the juniors are sweet little kiddies. I love them all. Just that some are too sweet, they can't neutralize the bitter and sour in the school. i.e. 'kurang-ajar-lame-pai-kias'. Why aren't they expelled yet? I don't know. The principal probably doesn't give a flying damn. As long as I don't get beaten up. If I do, call your lawyer.

All in all, I guess things aren't so bad. Let's recap shall we?

1. Kem Jaya Diri was a failure.
2. I'm very sexy.
3. ART teachers make lousy leaders.
4. I hate suck ups.
5. Mdm. Jenny should be reinstated as PKHEM.
6. I have no respect for current PKHEM.
7. ART teachers = twitch.

Speaking of twitching, have you ever noticed that he twitches involuntarily during mid-speech? It's retarded.

Dear Loved One,

do not be flattered.

You mean so much,

yet give so little.

This is for you,

loving snake.

I am in love,
therefore I am.
Without love,
I am nothing.
I am me,
only without you.
Regardless,
I am still nothing.
You don’t see me,
I'm right in front.
Pierce my heart,
free me now.
I need you,
where are you?
I’m calling,
can you hear me?
I search for you,
I find nothing.
The day passes,
I hide beneath shadows.
I will not cry,
you will not bother.
My head is weak,
I need your shoulder.
Where is your mouth,
of which preaches me.
Your soothing voice,
it makes me blush.
I cannot forget,
the month of December.
Love abundant,
love temporary.
Fooled by illusion,
blinded by emotion.
Lost in fading love,
searching for you.
Murdered by fate,
it lies to me each day.
Pleasing you greatly,
to watch me die slowly.
My naïve inquiries,
end in embarrassment.
Lacking greatly in pity,
for someone so unprepared.
Become the hated person,
whom hurt you first.
Do I deserve this,
I ask my friends.
They pretend to care,
anesthetic in overdose.
Facts are what I find,
yet still asking questions.
Sadness in memory,
forgetting nothing of it.
Bringing much sorrow,
only to be abused in the end.
Do you not appreciate,
the things I’ve said?
Tell me now, tell me now,
let not lies be a wall.
In truth I find,
you have someone else?
Finally a backdoor,
a reason to hate you.
Is it bad for me to assume,
you have many after you.
Procrastinating each request,
with such old excuses.
Intelligence profuse,
do you not exploit it?
Such a dunce am I,
to be given childish reasoning?
Stupidity partial,
do not insult my understanding.
Of such humans like you,
trustworthiness pointed out?
Damage me with the obvious,
I am tempting you to do so.
Give me reason to hate you,
so that I won’t love you.
Impossible when rethinking,
because you are that special.
Average everyday lover,
I cannot use to describe you.
You give me reason to smile,
you make me stop breathing.
Continuing to love you,
it might be my own mistake.
The fault is all yours,
you touched me first.
Forgive me my lover,
for I have loved you so.

Thank You,

My Very Special Someone. Y

It hurts . . .
It really hurts . . .
Please make it stop . . .
I don't want to love you . . .
Never knew it hurts so much . . .
Just make it stop, it hurts . . .
Can you go away now? . . .
Stop doing this to me . . .
I hate you so much . . .
But I don't know . . .
How I can do it . . .
It really hurts . . .
It just hurts . . .

I want you to go away,

though you're never really here.

You treated me so well,

but that's all history now.

What is this game you're playing,

it's making me lose everything.

Am I gambling my heart,

for someone insignificant?

Stop saying you really care,

because I don't feel anything.

I feel so much for you,

even though I'm ignored.

Just take me away,

before I get myself lost again.

I used to love another,

that I left for you.

Does it mean anything,

when I say 'I like you'?

Everyone is staring,

though I feel invisible.

Take out this beautiful knife,

which you used to stab me before.

Am I asking for too much,

when you don't even listen at all?

Everyone is talking,

but I only hear your voice fading.

I know I dissapoint you,

and I'm hardly tring to improve.

I constantly try to apologize,

but you just look away.

Stop talking about Beijing,

I know you're leaving me anyway.

I wish you all the best,

even though I want to hurt you.

I want to hate you,

but always run back for comfort.

You're voice rings in my mind,

choking me when I hear your name.

You say you'll be there for me,

such colourful words in black and white.

December, I smiled everyday,

January, I waited by the window.

December, I slept with a happy heart,

February, I couldn't close my eyes.

December, I felt your care for me,

March, I contemplated spiritual suicide.

Save me from this emotion,

or this will be my last goodbye.

You can keep running,

but I will still be waiting.

I don't want to regret any of this,

though you give me 99 reasons to.

With you, I flew the highest high,

with you, I fell the lowest low.

I've learnt to let you go long ago,

but don't forget to remember me.

I really like you,

but do you like me?

Even if you say you do,

I wouldn't believe you anyway.

There's a hole in my heart,

your mark branded on it forever.

Your voice in my mind,

your smile in my heart,

your touch miles away,

your breath in the wind,

your gaze is misdirected,

your love,

only a memory.

Thank you, my very special person. Y

Condolesco Amatorius.

Translation: Pain of loving.
Situation: Heartbroken and in denial.
Feeling: Unwanted and deprived of care.
Reason: Left by special Someone.
Result: Will not sleep for whole night; thinking of Person.
Action to be taken: Nothing.

I never knew things could get this complicated. I'm a good person, no matter how I act on the outside. My intentions are usually good. I don't deserve this. Person doesn't deserve me. I wish I didn't get that fateful Friendster message. Person is going to Beijing to sit for entrance exam for a university. Person is smart. I am not. I cannot chase person in Beijing. I will have to let Person go because I care for Person. I feel so played. Even though I'm not. Person promised an SMS a minute before offlining. I have not recieve one as of yet. Why do I keep feeling so bad? Like wanting to throw up or biting something in half. I feel so strange inside. It's a crush. That's all it is. A simple juvenile crush. Which is actually hurting me. I used to like it, now I don't. I only wish I could just forget about this relationship like the others. Hoping this would turn around for the better. But I need to face the facts. Once you leave for your dream career, you'll be too busy to even come online like you promise you would. I never liked your promises. They're always broken. I can't seem to glue them back together to make things seem better. I'm trapped.

And I still like you.

I have turned emo. Am hoping I have no potential suicidal tendencies like I would think. Touch wood. I sort of enjoy liking you. It just gives me something to look forward to everyday. You're really something special. Everyone I love is special. But that doesn't hide the fact you still hurt me. Does this mean I'm spoilt? I only ask for so little. Why do I have to be the one who SMSs first. Why do you only call when you sense trouble. I don't like you. But I can't hate you. Why? This is weird. I'm weird. My friends think I'm weird. Or that's what I think.

You must have someone. You probably do already. I'm paranoid, so what. I have reason to. You've changed so much since last December. Your excuse? I can't be like that all the time. You haven't been like that for 2 months. What's your problem? What's my problem? I don't know. You never tell me. It's always a change of topic. I'm supposed to forget about you. But I had a hard time forgetting the previous. Now we're just friends. And I'm fated to never fall in love with friends. I'm on a downward spiral to being single and depressed. Thank you for everything.

I'm not angry. Just don't like this feeling. It's so messy. I'm so messed up. All because I like you.

I like you.
I like you.
I like you.
I like you.
I like you.
I like you.
I like you.
I like you.
I like you.
I like you.....

And I hate myself for it.
Please don't forget me when you leave.
Don't be the person who hurt you first.
Would you want me to feel the same as you did?
I don't know your answer.
But I hope you don't.

You say I should find someone else. At least I would be happier. I don't know if I would be. Or if I would find someone else like you. Neither do I want anyone else. I want you. Only you. You get me? I keep your history notes that you sent near me. I can't bear to read them as you keep irritatingly ask me to. I just can't concentrate having something from you so near me. Because I know I won't have anything else. I'll miss you when you go. Very much so that I will never forget your cute nerdy voice, your clumsy english and irresistability.

Good night.

Stress Kills. So Don't Take Exams.

It's Friday and after a whole week of test paper madness.

Next week we will continue.

Basically, I have nothing to say at this point. Kind of a waste of bandwidth huh? Who cares. I don't. I really don't.

Okay, so Biology was okay, not many problems faced. I still can't believe how hopeless I was at Addmaths again. It's just so hard to understand. I mean, you cant even apply it to real life. Only some of it, like the triangles and stuff. But I just don't get how logarithm will help us decide how many apples I'll get out of 127 between 7 people. Ya.

I need a digicam soon. Necessity is turning into desperate desire. Oh god, I am going to die a technological 'noob'.

When Pink Flowers Bloom, I Take Out The Lawnmower.

Things are all right now I suppose. Not so emo anymore. I guess it's just a day thing. Almost like, a day of menstruation. Only for guys. I think. If it means anything though, I'm still blasting Delta Goodrem's song on my Winamp. The lyrics are so meaningful. They bring tears to my eyes. Well, not really.

Well, spoke with dear person again. Apparently person is sick and having a fever. :'( Hope gets well.

I have not studied anything at all today. Why is it so hard to study!? Why can't they let us bring reference books into exams. We'll have reference books when we have careers right? It's just a matter of time before we get used to it and need not use reference books anymore. Like I've said before, when travelling long distances, take the shortest route. What's more, the shortest route doesn't have to be dangerous just because of that reason. It's pure common sense. Why walk to shopping mall when you can ride a car there. It's much dangerous to walk if you ask me. No?

Common sense is what makes the world go round. Common sense is what made me, me. Common sense is what made me lost everytime I fight with my mummy, because she is common sense queen. So is my dad, except, I've learnt over the years, and soon their facts won't be as effective as before. MuaHaHa. I'm like a science project that turned on it's creator. One thing about parents though, and you have to agree wholeheartedly with this, is that they will NEVER 'mengaku kalah' or admit defeat. Because they are parents. Parents will not admit to losing to their own children. It's pure human nature. Like, I'll be in total shock if someone stupid beats me at 1+123458291739491. Which is 123458291739492. Ya. Eyh? Got wrong onot la, aiyo. Paise paise.

Hrmm, just read Sarah's blog. I'm jealous of her very very geng english. I wan to suck her brain. Aiye, I think she might get high from even that. Eh, hehehe, forget it la. Anyway, my blog cannot be very pretty because it has some damned javascript error. F*ck it. They force us to use the new blogger, and yet have faulty thingies? I call them thingies because I dunno what their called. Links? Buttons? Clickables? Whichever. Should ask sexy genius Dr. Sharah Zane. Woot. So sexy name le.

I think I should find pictures to put on this post. Just for some colour. Too holy liao this blog template. And as if I'm such a holy person. To my embarassment to say, I think I'm more holy when I want something and ask God for it. But hey, at least I admit so I know I should change. But parents working almost everyday la. Summore this morning my grandmother cook. Prawns and cabbage with prawns. I think my piercing will turn mouldy and I will lose one ear due to seafood infection. Don't you think so?

Fuuh, lazy to post pictures liao la. Hopefully I get extra money during the course of this year so I can finally buy a phone that's not embarassing to take out of my pocket whenever I get SMS. I know it's shallow and cheap to say what I want on a blog. But I guess it's a must have thing now. I mean, seriously. No digicam or a phone that can take quality pictures. Seriously. I am doomed to be technologically retarded liao.

Joy to the world, the b!atch!ba!ki!asu has spoken.

Just Perfect.

Lost Without You by Delta Goodrem



These are the lyrics. If only I could write it in blood, I would do it just to show you how I really feel.

Thank you for everything you've done TO me. And no, I'm not thanking you for what you've done FOR me. Totally different in this damn situation.

Just Like The One Who Hurt You First.

This post is just for you, 'dear' person.

I have regretted so many things ever since I met you.

I should have never replied your stupid Friendster message.

I should have never gave you my MSN.

I should have never shared my life experiences with you.

I should have never gave you my phone number.

I should have never let you call me.

I should have never answered your phone call.

I should have never chatted with you till past midnight.

I should have never told you what I feel.

I should have never believed what you said.

I should have never listened to your empty promises.

I should have never fallen for you.

I should have never left my friends to worry because of you.

I should have never cared about you.

I should have never wasted my credit to try to contact you.

I should have never thought about meeting up with you.

I should have never wanted to think you were something good.

I should have never expected you to take me this far just to put me down.

I should have never cared about you.

You know who you are. You've become the person who hurt you in the first place, so now you want someone else to experience that same pain. I hope you never have another good night's sleep in your whole entire life, you damn hypocrite.

You've been left by yourself during your SPM year, and now you're doing the same to me. You sent me history notes and the nicest messages, but all are useless when you don't even care about the person you sent them to. Day by day, your messages become shorter and you send them less frequently, now only once a day if I'm lucky.

I reply to them, only to receive crap filled messages that don't make sense to what I had typed before. Do you have someone else? Why do you always make me wait. It's always excuse after excuse just to keep me from making any assumptions. In the end, the excuses don't matter, because I've never given you an excuse. How long are you going to make me wait?

Just give me the bad news and let me drown in my own blood tears. You've been one the best things that's happened to me, and you've also become the worst. Which one will you be in the end? I will never know, because you always change the damn topic to something that I don't even give a f*ck about. The only thing I give a damn is YOU. Not crap we hear about everyday. Just give me an answer and leave me alone if you decide it's best we don't continue this. If I could only make the pain just go away.

Like a moth drawn to a flame, I risk myself just to be near you.

The worst thing about all this is...



I still have feelings for you.
I can't think of anything else.
So please stop hurting me.

Of Car Scratches And Stupid Police.

If you didn't notice, I double posted today. Which is amazing. Well, not until you hear the facts. Which is amazing. It's because blogger sucks and my browser can't deal with javascripts or whatever. Which is amazing. Bullsh*t pls.

Anyway, TODAY I was at Kristine's house, with my sexy super slim PS2. Due to the fact that I extremely enjoy numbering my paragraphs now, enjoy the numerical goodness of my post. Or die.

1. Kristine changed clothes 3 times. One time when she came down to greet mua. Then switched again to a girly dress which didn't suit her. And finally the same clothes she wore to greet me. Is that sick or what? Like, she's some kind of super-changer-woman. Did I mention she was really sick too? I think I'm coming down with a fever as well. As soon as phlegm starts forming in my throat, I am going to call Kristine up and make her deaf.

2. Other came late. Samuel and Charlene came in David Voon's car. He's the senior that bombed me last year. Haih, miss the old junior days. Now I'm a senior too. I feel so old. At least my butt isn't saggy. Grace, Paulina, Belinda and some other guys came with Jon-neal, another senior. No, I did not get into a fight with him either. Then we just mingled aimlessly. Why aimlessly? Because there was no aim to mingle. Confused yet? Rox.

3. Numbers nice right? I say nice, so nice la. Diao lor.

4. Kristine's mom wasn't very happy the seniors were gambling. Lucky I didn't play lor. Later kena blacklist. Since I'm frequent visitor. Hia hia. Kristine's mom cooked curry and mee hoon. The fries were very limp, but the curry made up for it. I loved the potatoes. So... Potatoliciousnessly. Shadap, it's usable word.

5. It's Ash Wednesday for your info. And I didn't go to church. Neither did my parents. I feel so naughty. I know God will hate me. Especially after I got high marks in both BM and English oral tests. I'm a bad Catholic boy. Eww, that's sort of sick in a way. I had better go to church this Sunday with my parents. By force if necessary. We will pray, and we will be holy, and I will get my digicam for getting good results by the grace of God. Or else.

6. After gathering David dropped me off at Sun City in his rox black car. He was saying something about something in the car broke and the car would overheat. I was sweating like a naked fat boy under the sun, but nothing happened. But one thing was certain, Samuel enjoyed displaying himself out the window toward Jon-neal's car when they were driving beside. Previously Jon-neal's expensive family car got sidescratched by Ralph's car and everyone had a good laugh about it. I wasn't there to witness. But the scratch wasn't so severe. On the way to Sun City, David got a call from someone saying there was a police car nearby. Must be the dark tinted windows, apparently it's illegal to have those. Right then a police car just whizzed by without noticing his car. Police people are stupid.

7. Drank Bailey's liquor at Sun City. It was milk flavoured liquor. Can't say I liked it very much. Looking forward to tasting more. Hopefully the vanilla flavour one. Wonder if I'll fall off the high chair. Hehehehehe. I like being semi-drunk. Makes everything so funny. I will try some other time.

8. Dad bomb me for staying up late. I shall offline now.

I like numbering la. I hope I don't turn into maths freak. Fuu.

'Happy' Chinese New Year? D!ao La.

I've said it once, and I'll say it again.

This year's Chinese New Year sucks. Why?

1. Angpao haul has decreased RM300 again for the 3rd consecutive year in a row.
Cause: We have not visited any relative's houses because parents tired. We are not in Kuching and Miri relatives are cheap bast*rds. 2 uncles under exception.

2. We did not have extravagant dinner at home with mummy's homecooked food.
Alternative: Uncle cooked everything except for the f*cking cauliflower/brocoli. I did not enjoy as much as mummy's cooking.

3. I did not go to KL.
Reason: Parents are working during CNY holiday.
Alternative: Stay at home and online whole day or study.

4. Miri sucks.
Reason: Hot.
Explanation: Why don't you just stare at the sun you @#$%#$%@#$@%.

5. Impulse to scream every half hour.
Reason: 1st semester exam starts right after CNY holiday ends.

But at least I have my... What do I have? Nothing much. Because everyone is being a f*cken cheapskate. Where's my digicam? If a digicam is too exp, then buy me a new phone with good camera. But noooooo~ Why? Because everyone is being a f*cken cheapskate x91728. Cheebye la.

Really no mood. I don't know why I've been feeling so down these days. Samuel, Chrispian and Grace have kept trying to ask me to come out for house visiting. I just don't like the fact that I would have to endure the probable band talk or the RM2 in the angpaos. Yes, I'm that shallow. But who cares, not my parents. If they cared I would be in KL at this f*cking moment staring out the window of a nice hotel room crosslegged with a very thick comforter blanket wrapped around and a bag of Cheesels Pizza Cheese. No, make that 10 bags, there's always so little content inside. Alas, I'm stuck at home, BLOGGING. I have officially become a loser, a poor loser who can't afford to go to KL at that. And people say I'm fortunate? Bullcrap. I can afford to have my correction pen confiscated but can't afford to go KL. It's been 10-11 years since I been there FYI. So shove a potato up your *ss.

Going to Kristine's house tomorrow. Bringing the pendrive with the Cantonese dubbed Disney toons. Watched them again that day when I was downloading them off Youtube. Not so funny anymore. I shall bring many wise potato chip bags to Kristine's house. No, she must have hired catering. At least SHE can afford it. Me? No, am poor. Poor like sh*t doesn't have vitamins after shooting out your anus.

Almost forgot, I had first experience of being semi-drunk last night at mummy's work place at the bar in Sun City. Had a shot of Frangelico on the rocks(to all you noobs out there, rocks = ice). Frangelico is a hazelnut flavoured liquor and is really hard to find. Not even Labuan has it. Anyways, mummy indirectly agreed to have me try other liquors next time I got there, which is almost everyday. Joy. After finishing my drink, I felt quite happy, coulden't help smiling, then when I wanted to tell my parents I have an uncontrollable urge to smile, I started laughing. I coulden't stop till I saw both parents staring at me as if they were thinking, "Wtf is wrong with this boy". Hopping off the highstool my felt my feet were light, still giggling to myself maniacally. Then my dad and I trotted off to the car. Inside, I was laughing the whole way while my dad kept asking if I was okay. I could only laugh about how the interior of a new car smells like. I don't know why it was funny, but I laughed stupidly anyway. Oh, I also joked about how Siaw Penan from my class turned a blooming red after taking a small amount of Absolut Vodka when Geoffrey brought it to school. A small amount meaning 1 tablespoon. He was all red the whole day and he's actually quite tanned. Though not very atheletic. Go figure why we call him penan. Wow, I talk alot once I get started. Sexy.

What else... Oh ya, I want digicam. Blog looks so dull. Once I get digicam or really smexy camphone, am going to revamp dull blog so it looks orgasmic. No, am not going to post nude pictures of self, sick pervert. Though, I'm flattered. Oi, hands off. I said stop it. Stop licking the f*cking screen you freak. Augh, signing out.

I Always Bite Off More Than I Can Chew.

I'm feeling so pissed.

1. Went out to watch stupid movie.
2. Pierced ears again. Upper right ear.
3. I want to take pierce off but cant.
4. My ear wont be soft as before anymore.
5. I miss having soft ears that are unique.
6. I regret getting this pierce.
7. Even though I regret, I want one more beside it.
8. I want to stop.
9. I don't know how.
10. Father will kill me.
11. Mother will have nothing to say.
12. I have become a hypocrite.
13. Used to say ear piercings on guys is stupid.
14. I am now stupid.
15. My ear hurts and I want to take it out.
16. I'm scared of turning blind or deaf.
17. I can't think properly.
18. I love weekends.
19. Chrispian is strange.
20. 'Someone' isn't talking to me.
21. Kristine and Lydia didn't come to school.
22. Geoffrey brought Vodka to school.
23. Samuel/Siaw Penan still owes me RM 1/2.
24. I want angpao money.
25. I want to be rich so I can buy Levi's clothing.
26. I need new jeans.
27. I hate overpriced shirts.
28. Where is my digicam pls.
29. I hate this.
30. I hate everything about my brain.

30 reasons that make life stupid.

I am Nobody. Nobody is Perfect. In conclusion, I am Perfect.

NOT.